So Houston thinks it’s better than Dallas? It’s ON, dudes

So Houston thinks it’s better than Dallas? It’s ON, dudes

The Houston Post’s Alyson Ward recently posted a story on chron.com of talking points on the cherished Houston vs. Dallas rivalry. Here’s a summary of her winning points in Houston’s favor: Skyline envy (they have the tallest skyscraper), NASA, Super Bowl debacles (Janet Jackson happened there), big religion (Lakewood Church), their Galleria (bigger than ours). Dallas? Billionaires, real-life J.R. Ewings, stadium send-offs (our Texas Stadium implosion was awesome, she admits), major sports teams, airport (you can’t top D/FW, the busiest airport in Texas). She calls a draw on weather (equally dreadful), rankings in silly surveys (Dallas is angrier and has more dangerous drivers; Houston is fatter and enjoys more porn), and resident past presidents.

One wants to give Ms. Ward credit for attempting impartiality, but one cannot. There was a definite tone of slight sneer in all of the “positive” Dallas listings.

So, I give you some reasons to ponder why Dallas is actually better. WAY better. And I do this in the spirit of completely nonbiased, information-based journalism, of course.

Reality-show contestants/winners: Kelly Clarkson, Hollie Cavanagh, Jason Castro, Todrick Hall and Casey James (American Idol), Jake Pavelka (The Bachelorette and The Bachelor; along with most-hated man in America status for a while), Emmitt Smith (Dancing With the Stars), Melissa Rycroft (The Bachelor‘s most famous dumpee), Rob Campos (For Love or Money), Colby Donaldson (The Survivor, season two), Lacey Conner (Rock of Love), Julia Anderson (True Beauty), Terry Fator (America’s Got Talent), Michelle Aguilar (The Biggest Loser), Marshall Hudes (The Amazing Race), Casey Thompson and Tre Wilcox (Top Chef), Mila Hermanovski (Project Runway) … all from here. Need we go on? When it comes to sheer talent, romantic dysfunction and heft, we’ve got Houston beat.

Architectural superstars, all in a row: Sure,we’ll admit Houston has t hat nice museum district and all, but we’ve got arts venues designed by four â€" count ‘em, four Pritzker Prize-winning architects, all within walking distance on Flora Street. For you Houstonians who’re now now flooding the airline websites to book your reservations to Big D, those are the Nasher Sculpture Center (Renzo Piano), the Meyerson Symphony Center (I.M. Pei), the Winspear Opera House (Norman Foster) and the Wyly Theatre (Joshua Prince-Ramus and Pritzker winner Rem Koolhaas)

Omni, Reunion, the Madge -- all in Dallas, not Houston. We can't take credit for the moon. (Lynn Jones/Special Contributor)

Skyline icons: OK, Houston, you’ve got the tallest building, blah, blah, blah. We’ve got Pegasus, who’s the winged horse of, you know, Zeus. We’ve got Reunion Tower. We’ve got the Jolly Green Giant (a.k.a. the Bank of America Tower, third-tallest in Texas, but certainly the greenest). We’ve got the Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge. And finally, we’v e got the light-show stylings of the Omni Dallas hotel. When it comes to bright and colorful, we win.

Dallas: We’ll never see a prime-time soap called Houston, and you know why? Houston just doesn’t have that iconic Texas aura about it. You think “Houston,” you think business, zoning, mosquitoes, humidity. You think “Dallas,” you think money (much zingier than “business”), fashion, over-the-top everything. We are simply better at doing the “everything’s bigger in Texas” thing.

Combining bling and football: Cowboys Stadium is a palace to pigskin, but it also has a kick-*** collection of fine art. I don’t even like football (there, I’ve said it) but I love going there because it’s just so pretty, and I always see a new piece of art I hadn’t glimpsed before.

Neiman Marcus: The fashion world’s Mecca. Period.

Zoning: We have it. We don’t put our museums next to pawn shops, or our botanical gardens next to porn shops. We’ re organized that way; we like to keep all of our pawn-and-porn within easy access to each other.

OK, Dallasites, chime in. What else do we have that tops Houston (aside from our fabulous Dallas Morning News readers, that is)? Comment here. Let the Game of Texas Thrones begin.